Just a slick of this’ and a ‘dash’ of that they say. Those magazines that make everything so easy; those beauty editors that have tried almost every trend in the beauty rulebook; those makeup artists who can scrub-up any old Dick ‘n’ Harry… anyway, you get the jist.
So after reading my regular dose of fashion mag material, I felt the compelling need to truly test some of these pretty perculiar ‘beauty trends’ that have been lurking around within recent months. My main aim is to reveal whether these so-called ‘trends’ can really be pulled off by the average Josephine.
Let’s just get one small but very important thing straight; I am by no-means a make-up artist/guru/expert but instead, just a mere mortal trying to do us beauty obsessors a very kind favour.
Here goes nothing…
The Modern Cat
The thought of scribbling on your favourite kohl eyeliner usually comes with an agonising twenty minutes of levelling out the often ‘tilted’ and uneven feline cat flick that graces the corners of our eyes.
Well things have changed in the beauty world and the main focus has shifted from the perfected flick to the very peculiar ‘negative-space’ cat eye. With thanks to Lucia Pieroni at Rochas, graphic feline peepers are the new ‘in thing’. But let’s just make it clear that the backstage makeup at Rochas makes this particular look appear easy because after my ill-fated attempt, it’s safe to say that this ‘trend’ is most definitely not for the novice.
Using the beautifully crafted Zoeva Calli Graphic felt-tip style liner in Black, I thought I was up for a fighting chance – but perhaps not so much. The main difficulty wasn’t so much about the symmetry of both eyes but more about the angle of the liner pen. Not only this, but I think that this so-called ‘trend’ isn’t something that’s going to grace the faces of half of the female population on a Saturday night.
Overall: It’s a no from me.
Uh-huh honey, the lash is back and it’s bigger than ever. I hear you all hail “hoorah!” if you’ve got the fake-lash application down to a T but for the other very large percentage of the population, we all groan at the thought of applying the same, failed fake-lash that has haunted us since 2012 ( I say ‘us’ but I mean ‘me’).
Putting that aside, I do love a fluffy looking lash and I think that the final outcome of the fake lash outweighs the stress of the pain-staking application. Givenchy and Valentino absolutely nailed the fluttery lash-look this year and due to my poor excuse for natural lashes, I decided to bite the bullet and go with Eyelure Volume False Lashes for that ultra-feminine finish.
It took me no longer than ten minutes to apply BOTH of these lashes and with thanks to the uber-sticky glue, there was no stray lash flapping around my very thankful eyeball. The fake-lash does so much for the overall structure of the face and so for that reason and that reason only; they’re a staple in my make-up bag.
The Glitter Bug
Rumours on the beauty trend circuit say that the glitter bug is back – and it’s sweeping the nation quicker than you can say, “cinnamon bagels!” But this year sees a different take on the sparkly stuff – I’d advise you to think more Star Wars.
You may disagree, but the upcoming trend that consists of smearing glitter across the whole of stretch of the forehead could look a little, well, futuristic. But with thanks to Thonton Bregazzi at Preen, it’s fast become the most imperative beauty trend of this year’s summer.
I used Barry M’s Glitter Pot in 07 Pink and after a little bit of hesitation, I’ve decided that I don’t really mind it. I was, however, extremely tempted to smear the glitter further around the outer-corners of my eyes but I swiftly remembered that was actually so.last.year.
Overall: WARNING: this glitter will find every crevice humanly possible (TMI).
Paint Box Brights
Nothing screams summer more than a brightly-poppin’ eye colour and with thanks to Marni, Sies Marjan and Prada, it’s safe to say that summer is sticking around until well into the autumn months.
Blue, yellow and hot pink were colours that featured on the eyes of the models on the runway and were applied in blocks across the whole of the eye-lid. Some may say that this type of makeup is only for the brave and the bold but what’s to say that I couldn’t re-create something similar?
At the time, I thought that a bright, Genuine Orange from MAC would warm up my whole face and create a lovely contrast against the blue of my eyes. Let’s just say that following the very swift and easy application, my foolish hopes were shattered into a thousand pieces after looking back at my reflection in the mirror.
Correction: this type of makeup is only for the brave and the bold.
Overall: Don’t choose orange.
You’re Making Me Blush!
I’ve never really been a blusher girl – my lily-white skin has always favoured the darkest shade of bronzer. When it comes to blusher and bronzer, I’ve always felt that each human being is either one of the other – never both. With that in mind, the blusher that appeared on the Valentino runway didn’t help my decade-long hesitation to start using the pink stuff but there’s no harm in trying – how naïve.
This particular look reminds me of a five year-old child having just raided their mother make-up bag but I’m not here to judge. So I went with the Velvet Touch Creamy Stick Blush from KIKO and I’m just going to be straight with you here – the results offended me. I don’t know what offended me more; the obnoxiously bright colour screaming back at me or the fact that I look like I’m waiting for the next available appointment at my GP.
Overall: My five-year-old self would have loved it.
The Power Lip
Hoorah for the power lip – I don’t think this bad-boy will ever go out of fashion.
The year of 2018 is all about the woman and this topic has definitely trickled all the way down to the POWER that is beauty. My personal favourite is everything and anything with a heavy, red undertone and so the lip featured in Tom Pecheux’s show with Max Mara was a lip that I wanted to take on.
I used Charlotte Tilbury’s Hot Lips List Lipstick in Tell Laura which leaves a lovely, enriched texture on the lips. The application was as typical as a red lipstick application often is; vigilant, painstakingly particular and no matter how hard one tries, the odd smudge occurrence around the edge of one’s lip.
**Disclaimer: keep an eye on those nashers. Lipstick on one’s teeth is not sexy.**
Appeal: 5/5 if I don’t say-so myself.
The Fishtail Tale
Last but oh my, by no means least.
Beauty Q-WEEN Huda Kattan (known on social media as hudabeauty), took the beauty world by storm after her very controversial eyebrow overhaul. Forget last year’s squiggle brow and say hello to this season’s fishtail eyebrow ensemble.
After my initial low-key panic when faced with the realisation that I’d have to shave my eyebrows to achieve this really quite ridiculous look, I was advised that actually, only makeup has been used to create this most current brow trend.
After the very tricky and time-consuming design and application using Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Pomade in Dark Blonde, I had to take some time out to really reflect on what the hell I was doing with my life. How had my mere 27 years of living taken me to this point? Apart from that, I was quite pleased to find the perfect eyebrow shape for my next Halloween idea.
Overall: More fancy dress than beauty.
I think that we can all agree that some things should be left to the professionals…